A little update.

Today marks my first full week on Prozac. My doctor told me I should start feeling the benefits within a couple of weeks. I assume some of my current feelings are psychosomatic but I’ll take them anyway.
I’m generally feeling pretty happy and have noticed Iv been a lot more “in the moment” which is silly. Things like standing in the shower for 5 minutes just enjoying the hot water on my back before even washing (sounds strange I know) also sitting on the kitchen floor stroking my cat and drinking a cup of tea and just being “there”
It sounds stupid and its hard to explain but I feel more mentally awake. My tiredness is still prevalent as well as my troubles actually getting to sleep but I think that will come with time.
I’m also starting to regain some of my natural productivity which has been all but lost for a while.

Unfortunately my desire to run has still not returned but I have been enjoying walking whenever I can which in the long run is better than rushing back into running.

Food prep has gone amazingly well and has stopped me mindlessly turning to anything bready for most of my meals (depression really makes you like carbs!)

Anyway I just thought I’d update and let everyone know how I’m feeling.

Its gross isn’t it! When I was looking for ideas of things to cook I couldn’t fathom why anyone would be stupid enough to eat chicken or Boiled eggs 7 days after cooking. Urgh!

Its gross isn’t it! When I was looking for ideas of things to cook I couldn’t fathom why anyone would be stupid enough to eat chicken or Boiled eggs 7 days after cooking. Urgh!

I’m feeling pretty fucking chuffed with myself today.
For the last few months I have struggled to even get out of bed in the morning and Ill admit I have been neglecting some parts of my life because nothing really mattered.
Today I got out the house before 10am,walked the mile to my local shop and picked up some bits and pieces for food prepping and then I came home made 5 portions of grilled chicken with string beans and some boiled curried rice. I ate one portion this evening to save making anymore pots and it was lovely! 2 are in the fridge for tomorrow and Monday and 2 have gone in the freezer for Tuesday and Wednesday.
I also tried some egg breakfast muffin things with some smoked bacon lardons and a bit of cheese. I made enough for 2 in a morning for the next 3 days and one random one lol.
I also did a few loads of washing,dusted and vacuumed the house top to bottom and did some general tidying. I’m finding bribery is pretty good for me at the minute like telling myself I can have an extra long shower tonight after doing all the vacuuming.
I know to most of you all these things would just be a general Saturday but I feel like Iv really achieved something today.
Don’t get me wrong I’m no picnic to be around all the time but I’m feeling a bit more me already.

I also got myself a fitbit so that competitiveness in me is making me move more which is awesome.

Hopefully your all ok! I’m still following everyone’s hard work.
Xx

I’m in the process of doing some meal prepping for the next few days while my hubby is away with work.
Everything iv read has neglected to address the issue of eating cooked meats 7 days after originally cooking.
I’m a bit squeamish with food especially with having a food hygiene background but I find it strange that there’s so little info about it.
I think ill be sticking to 3 days prepping as that’s about as far as a dare push it.

I went to my doctors this morning and she has prescribed me a short 8 week course of Prozac. She thinks a lot of my physical symptoms are because I’m suffering depression. It wasn’t until she listed some of the symptoms that it seemed that it could be a possibility.
She wants me to just use the Prozac as a bit of a jump start to lift my serotonin levels so I feel more able to regulate it on my own with diet and exercise.
I’m feeling good about the fact my doctor really seems to care about sorting me out.
Fingers crossed!

After visiting the doctor about my list of issues I had a comprehensive blood test and everything came back negative so medically there seems to be nothing wrong with me which is brilliant news but I can’t help being disappointed that what I’m feeling can now not be explained.
I have gone from running 40+ miles a week and being practically depression free,sleeping like a baby every night and just feeling on top of the world to struggling to fall asleep before 2am despite being exhausted all day,really suffering from depression and just generally being very off.
I have another appointment with my doctor on Monday to talk through some other options and I’m hoping she may prescribe me some sleeping tablets.
Now I know there’s nothing seriously wrong with me I’m more determined than ever to get back on my feet. I don’t have the strength to run at the minute but I’m going to try and walk enough to start fighting this depression and hopefully things will start returning to normal.

Iv really missed some of you lot and I’m looking forward to getting back into the tumblr world.

Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment at 10.30 to explain how I’ve been feeling.
Since the Brighton marathon I haven’t felt myself at all. I have had a few constant issues that I have been trying to ignore until I finally gave up and booked an appointment.
My symptoms don’t seem to point to one particular issue but to at least 2 problems both of which run in the family.
I have no desire to run,lift weights,cook decent healthy food or do much of anything other than sleep.
I’m hoping the doctor takes my symptoms seriously and at least offers to investigate and doesn’t fob me off which is what most people claim happens with both of these illnesses.

If I’m told there’s nothing wrong with me I won’t accept it and I will be going for a second opinion because I know my body better than anyone and I know there’s something wrong with me.

I forgot that I’d ordered these new scales but they came and there the tits! 
They literally measure everything!
Weight,fat,water,muscle and your BMR. I’m a figures geek so I’m looking forward to comparing my numbers each week instead of shitting myself when I stand on the scale.

I have a doctors appointment on Thursday for some health issues I’m having so hopefully I will be feeling a bit more myself.

I forgot that I’d ordered these new scales but they came and there the tits!
They literally measure everything!
Weight,fat,water,muscle and your BMR. I’m a figures geek so I’m looking forward to comparing my numbers each week instead of shitting myself when I stand on the scale.

I have a doctors appointment on Thursday for some health issues I’m having so hopefully I will be feeling a bit more myself.

Well after 3 years.

As of last night I’m no longer a vegetarian. Iv been thinking about switching back to a very good quality meat for a while now because after 3 years my body is starting to revolt against me. Im just not feeling my best despite eating predominantly veg for so long.When I first turned veggie people said “oh you’ll feel incredible and won’t revert back atal!” But that’s not happened to me.
I feel a bit like a failure posting this but its my life and if eating a couple of meat meals a week improves my health then I’m ok with that.

If your a vegan/vegetarian blog feel free to delete me if you feel the need to do so.

Fingers crossed I will be feeling better soon and be back to training.

I think I want to eat meat again…